tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-190347512024-03-13T00:27:51.099-07:00One step closer to becoming meevery trial in my life has brought me to THIS place.....a place where nothing is perfect but everything is great. i wouldn't change a thing.
OK MAYBE A FEW THINGS!!!!stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08804749794097645656noreply@blogger.comBlogger246125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19034751.post-53735359888679550422012-03-02T09:54:00.004-07:002012-03-02T11:40:50.323-07:00from the other side of the darkness<div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">i felt like it was a good to time to come here and close a chapter of my life. i know that there may be others that are similar in nature but this chapter is CLOSED and i can't say that <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">i'm</span> sad...<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">i'm</span> quite <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">relieved</span> <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">in fact</span>.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">i know that <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">i've</span> <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">already</span> said it in my post below but <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-error">i'm</span> going to <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">elaborate</span> a bit here. in <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" class="blsp-spelling-error">september</span> my <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_9" class="blsp-spelling-error">ashton</span> buddy was blessed. i was doing so well before this. i felt good and balanced and was content in my crazy life. before my dad and <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_10" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Jeff's</span> mom headed back to <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_11" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">California</span> i realized that something was off about me, something didn't feel right. i recognized it and became scared and with tears begged my husband and father for a blessing as i was <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_12" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">becoming</span> aware of how fast and furious this <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_13" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">all to</span> familiar and unwelcome presence was speeding it's was into my life. sometimes a blessing brings me comfort and other times it's just a reality check...<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_14" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">basically</span> a "this is gonna suck but hold on tight and you'll make it though" kind of thing and this one was just that! i don't remember the exact time line or all of the detail in fact after that blessing everything went dark and i mean PITCH BLACK!!!!!! within minuets my surroundings became <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_15" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">unfamiliar</span>, my family became strangers and it was then that i realized that my life was no longer my own.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">in the weeks following this i found myself asking my husband if the streets seemed the same to him or if everything looked different to him the way that it did to me. i would walk around my house doing things and wonder how i knew where this was or how i knew to put that there. it really was scary it really was dark but the worst part was not being able to connect my brain to my family. <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_16" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">logicaly</span> i KNEW my husband was my husband and i KNEW the i gave birth to 5 children and they belonged to me but they seemed so unfamiliar my heart couldn't connect me to them but my head (although a mess) was the only thing that kept me from running away from this foreign place. i remember walking up to <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_17" class="blsp-spelling-error">tatum</span> who was on the couch and squeezing her arm tight <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_18" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">because</span> i thought that it would help me remember her and when it didn't i just looked in her eyes and told her that i loved her because i knew that she need me to say that to her. i was serving people i didn't know. i was doing their laundry, doing their dishes, waking up at night to comfort and soothe them, and when the morning came it was still "dark" in fact i think the mornings were the darkest because they were supposed to be light and it just wasn't, when i woke up i was still in <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_19" class="blsp-spelling-error">dispare</span>. i would send them off to school and lay face first in my unfamiliar bed and cry painful tears to my heavenly father and beg for him to make me "know" this family, to make my baby stop crying on the bed next to me and to PLEASE stop my 2 year old from screaming "<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_20" class="blsp-spelling-error">MOOOOOOOOM</span>" one more time from down stairs, i prayed for this to be taken away. i prayed for many, many things but also remembered to say that i understood if this is something that i needed...and then the hysteria would build, i KNEW this was something that i was just going to have to do and because it was so painful and lonely i had a hard time understanding what was ahead of me that i had to feel SO disconnected to the very things that made me who i am. i was truly having a sort of <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_21" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">separation</span> <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_22" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">disorder</span>. i even <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_23" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">considered</span> that one of my children or husband must be dying and this was a <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_24" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">preparation</span>.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">i tried to protect my family from this, i didn't tell <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_25" class="blsp-spelling-error">jeff</span> how i had been feeling but when it came to the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_26" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">surface</span> he was shocked and <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_27" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">of course</span> he didn't know how to help me...he couldn't, i couldn't even help myself. he set an appointment for me with the bishop (that poor guy knows way too much about me) the bishop gave the name of a great <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_28" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">counselor</span> and some amazing women made themselves present in my life. i started taking some medication and it worked quickly to help me to recognize my world again and for that i am MOST grateful!!!! i knew my children and remembered why i married my husband and recognized the house that i had made a home.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">i found out why the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_29" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">separation</span> was <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_30" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">necessary</span>, and why heavenly father didn't <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_31" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">remove</span> it from me. i have been through many hard times as most people have, i have felt desperate and depressed but never have i been so bad that i would have to be medicated as i did this time. i would have never made it out without that help! </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">our family lost a <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_32" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">car and</span> although it was <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_33" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">inconvenient</span> and a bit of a shock i was <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_34" class="blsp-spelling-error">ok</span>. just weeks later we lost our home and had to have our family of 7 moved out of a 2500 sq ft home in 5 days a couple of weeks before <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_35" class="blsp-spelling-error">christmas</span>. i was a mess but i felt grounded. <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_36" class="blsp-spelling-error">jeff</span> and i went to see the bishop about our situation and when we got home there were women in my kitchen putting together boxes and loading things in them. both of our parents came out as soon as they heard the news and went searching for places for us to live. we found a place where the kids could still be with friends until we could make a plan to settle down somewhere. it's been tricky moving from 2500 sq ft to just over 1300 sq ft but we are making it.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">i can see now that the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_37" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">separation</span> that i experienced was a <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_38" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">preparation</span> for things that only an all knowing and loving father in heaven could see. i really feel that if i wasn't medicated through that experience i wouldn't have made it out the way that i did. my depression HAD to get horrible in order to be desperate enough to medicate. i HAD to <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_39" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">separate</span> from things to know how painful it could be and it prepared me for leaving my first home, the place that we started a new life together as a family. through that depression and finding my way out i came to realize that all i need is my family and when we moved in to that tiny house together i knew that we would be <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_40" class="blsp-spelling-error">ok</span> because after all that i had been through i knew that that trial was placed there for me to be able to gain perspective and that i have.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">in <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_41" class="blsp-spelling-error">january</span> i went off of my medication to see if i could do it knowing that if i was slipping back i would just start back up again but guess what...I DID IT!!!! <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_42" class="blsp-spelling-error">i'm</span> happy and fully capable of dealing with my everyday trials. i am strong and proud of myself when i look at the things that i have been through and overcome. i wish that i could say this will never happen again but i can't. i know however that these experiences are <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_43" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">necessary</span> and i have experienced enough heartache to have been able to recognize this even in my darkest hours.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">hang in there friends, there is a plan and and sometimes it seems impossible but i promise you will be better for all of the hard things that you <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_45" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">experience, we are being refined...</span>it is for our good!!</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span></div><div align="center"><em><span style="font-size:130%;">"Into every life there come the painful, despairing days of adversity and buffeting. There seems to be a full measure of anguish, sorrow, and often heartbreak for everyone, including those who earnestly seek to do right and be faithful. … For some, the refiner’s fire causes a loss of belief and faith in God, but those with eternal perspective understand that such refining is part of the perfection process"</span></em></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">a week after the move we went on a family trip and here are a couple of pictures that we took. i'll post about that soon!</span></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_c4txkZbFHhRO6pd19jmiHoRp8Rk5UeO5Ps-fWxe83SUeALDBtV6ZSb55eQZDOSVWj0piy2t5Ij2Qu0wPr2qCipLtrsMmfS-p3VrHWPQpWrZ8V9_tiQRMFIQjWJDdvEHIkXan/s1600/snow2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 267px; height: 400px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5715344902838075954" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_c4txkZbFHhRO6pd19jmiHoRp8Rk5UeO5Ps-fWxe83SUeALDBtV6ZSb55eQZDOSVWj0piy2t5Ij2Qu0wPr2qCipLtrsMmfS-p3VrHWPQpWrZ8V9_tiQRMFIQjWJDdvEHIkXan/s400/snow2.jpg" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwpNMdbxNBr0E0WaUaSKHxE3dO2nuAEjUQBU38O7eWPqBzJvP-22rIXUjhiCXgSepmmESl4NJXG_fsT3_-lutK9-ZOoa-HrnQAdLmhz1P5e6g2xotAZM9BkqZsZZSyNEdT71-0/s1600/snow1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 400px; height: 267px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5715344664040933570" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwpNMdbxNBr0E0WaUaSKHxE3dO2nuAEjUQBU38O7eWPqBzJvP-22rIXUjhiCXgSepmmESl4NJXG_fsT3_-lutK9-ZOoa-HrnQAdLmhz1P5e6g2xotAZM9BkqZsZZSyNEdT71-0/s400/snow1.jpg" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQmKfAylBExjZUMDDn7PTPLU80q6F9WABCdguaVGLg4RHl9ScXZPmIH-0QjIY5ZCT0vVF0hW_baaBcfCjipIqivmsCiSjvxDGtwrMmLBGf4JhqehI-4F9bxo8UuGvCQkjZuTvL/s1600/snow.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 267px; height: 400px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5715344652807379746" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQmKfAylBExjZUMDDn7PTPLU80q6F9WABCdguaVGLg4RHl9ScXZPmIH-0QjIY5ZCT0vVF0hW_baaBcfCjipIqivmsCiSjvxDGtwrMmLBGf4JhqehI-4F9bxo8UuGvCQkjZuTvL/s400/snow.jpg" /></a><br /><div> </div></div></div>stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08804749794097645656noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19034751.post-48484196049184476082011-09-20T16:21:00.003-07:002011-09-27T19:49:26.658-07:00best laid plans<div align="center"><font size="4">i should have know, but really how could i have known???</font></div><div align="center"><font size="4">i never should have started my journey to #5 posts until i knew for sure that i was out of the woods. first of all let me introduce my sweet little buddy Ashton. Ashton was born july 24th and was 8 lbs. 1 oz. he's just over 9 weeks old at this point and is SO loved by his family. he has had some tummy trouble so he's been kinda sad. he has also been quite sick and had at least one dr. visit a week since he was 2 weeks old. SAD!!!!</font></div><div align="center"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2kec547u_vGnBaidoFrw0pF7CrXVMU2P_bzf-BiInODH5GyYTQnnytWsLIAPwW-EGemcFyEaHSJTR4GnW5HRei7g6yDRmfh5-dgpvmitNcNVO6QKmH9v4xctGm-_HmaMsiTTx/s1600/IMG_7515-11+x+11+.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 400px; height: 400px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5654586519535688610" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2kec547u_vGnBaidoFrw0pF7CrXVMU2P_bzf-BiInODH5GyYTQnnytWsLIAPwW-EGemcFyEaHSJTR4GnW5HRei7g6yDRmfh5-dgpvmitNcNVO6QKmH9v4xctGm-_HmaMsiTTx/s400/IMG_7515-11+x+11+.jpg" /></a></div><div align="center"> every time i have a baby i know to expect a little postpartum depression. with tristan it was pretty bad and with the 3 girls it was more like the baby blues and was gone in a few weeks. this time as i sat in the hospital on the 3rd day (i was getting ready to be released) i could feel that darkness start to set in. it was too early, i hand never experienced that so soon, usually it started a few days after i got home from the hospital and it was rolling in fast and furious. it wasn't long before i started to feel desperate for a normal existence something, anything that felt familiar or normal. i cried hard and i cried for a long time and i wondered how a pain like this could stop. a couple of long weeks after that i could feel myself healing...i was getting better. i started to feel happiness seep into my soul and for that i couldn't have been more grateful.</div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">i had about 3 weeks where i felt "normal" i guess as normal as one could feel while dealing with the demands of a new born and an almost 3 year old but it was good i tell ya. my relationships with the people in my life felt better and less forced and i was so glad for that. just over a week ago something broke inside of me, something big, something that makes me who i am! AND IT HURTS!!!!! it hurts like nothing i have ever experienced. it's like all of the hurts from over the years never healed and piled one on top of the other like they're waiting in line to be dealt with. FYI i am NOT equipped to deal with you!!!!</div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">i have moments that feel normal but they are very brief and i cry when they disappear because i'm afraid that it'll never come back. i am being suffocated by depression...it's bad and lonely and scarier than anything i have had to go through because it has control over me. i'm missing things, moments that are precious and that i can never get back. i don't want to miss out but i can't make myself be apart of it all. i am a spectator of everything that is happening and i should be a player.</div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">i know that this will get better and that i'll be able to look back on this time and be grateful that i survived but i wish that that alone could bring me hope. the truth is that i don't see and end in sight and i would give anything to see an end. this hurts and i'm afraid of losing the people in my life that i need the most, i hope that they can be patient long enough for me to heal.</div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">please be patient?</div><div align="center"> </div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNd8vgho6osSsFLMRNlz73jFZLkCngcI5KuLR-ysCfNI8dHndLQCFFA9m2vqFwmk_iFjrvINYlUy8y_zCt3TkbIWjU2Fr_0HiQ6go8No3dRUyXXR8G7Ua4Q_pEY31tBEsS3dHD/s1600/IMG_7505-5+x5.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 400px; height: 400px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5654586507697544578" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNd8vgho6osSsFLMRNlz73jFZLkCngcI5KuLR-ysCfNI8dHndLQCFFA9m2vqFwmk_iFjrvINYlUy8y_zCt3TkbIWjU2Fr_0HiQ6go8No3dRUyXXR8G7Ua4Q_pEY31tBEsS3dHD/s400/IMG_7505-5+x5.jpg" /></a><p align="center">p.s. i'm <font size="4">getting</font> help and if you're suffering too so should you!</p><p align="center"><br />also if you see me posting on my journey to #5 chances are i'm feeling better. :)</p><div align="center"></div>stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08804749794097645656noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19034751.post-70063257729328425582011-07-31T15:04:00.006-07:002011-07-31T15:28:19.072-07:00journey to #5 part 1<div align="center"><font size="4">it was christmas time just after i turned 26 when i realized that something was wrong with my body. i was on my feet all day on a saturday doing my holiday baking, something that i get so excited to do (and now my kids get excited with me). on sunday...the one before chirstmas, i woke up and felt a little strange (saving some details that not everyone would love to know) i had a solo in sacrament meeting, i also was singing in a trio and with the choir. i felt like i could do it so i got ready and was off to church with my husband and 2 babies. after my solo i realized i might not be ok, i started to get lightheaded so i decided that i would sing the trio and the choir didn't really need me anyway so i would just leave. my mom was there so i asked her to take me to the ER. after being check out out they gave a tentative diagnosis and ordered me to go see my OB. </font></div><div align="center"><font size="4"></font> </div><div align="center"><font size="4">within the next week i picked an new ob and when he checked me he confirmed the diagnosis...i had a uterine prolapse. he counceled me to have a hysterectomy????? i was completely confused and so sad. while i was there his wife and FOUR kids came to see him. i got sick to my stomach when i thought of my 2 children and the siblings that they would miss out on if i followed his advice. i was physicaly uncomfortable but aren't we all a little in one way or another as mothers? i didn't think i was the best mom but i knew that there were more children who chose me and were waiting to be a part of this crazy family for a tough journey and they knew it and they were ready. I WENT ON THE HUNT FOR A NEW OB!!!!</font></div>stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08804749794097645656noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19034751.post-72337393066466776272011-07-02T12:10:00.009-07:002011-07-02T12:19:14.026-07:00Life<div><div align="center">here's me and my family! i got up to 250 lbs. while i was pregnant with addie. i lost a little bit of weight and started to pack it back on due to...well, you read it in my last post. that's a chubby lady right there.<br /></div><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 400px; height: 320px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5624834922927924914" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-2OCvBtzlmmWZBcWyBADJuB1pyHf7y8RB8gUU6mfuGyHR1iahA75bvpvitCXd0kcI7PCchJGnMJWwdxm4B3UstHKH7RVNoWtBBt78O9H0DWLWm222V-LBbZfKV-bH9ZQeEXtH/s400/226335_1010254465804_1508250217_40613_5288_n%255B1%255D.jpg" /><p align="center"><br /><br />here i am just 5 lbs away from the final 45 lbs. that i lost before the BIG surprise! i still had 15 lbs. to go to get to my goal!<br /></p><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 300px; height: 400px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5624835069207088210" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEliGmrtrn7eaBQLrd0v4W4dOQnJKDs-6Cvv8Xaqrlb37RJxrzHCWxxSCl_r6yDBkpmA4ZUTq9IKsmFbTrxWtX9aRnMhoA0Gn-0YWesFoLvyWDpjhBMf4EuGuqbHWFM6eVUTBP/s400/47287_1390793619045_1508250217_829154_4562933_n%255B1%255D.jpg" /><div align="center"><br />just a few thought before i continue...<br />it would be awesome if i had more of an interest in my blog. i know i really need to keep this thing up especially since addie has gotten the shaft in the "life recording department" and with baby ashton due to arrive in 3 weeks i really need to do better...they are so worth it and you know what, so am i. my brain isn't as sharp as it used to be and i forget important things all the time. i don't want to forget these exhausting and amazing days that are whizzing by.<br />so here is what happened after i lost 45 lbs. this is me at 17 weeks. at about 14 weeks the nausea subsided and i felt really great. not something that i had experienced with my two previous pregnancies. i was miserable from start to finish with those two little girls.<br /></div><div> <img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 300px; height: 400px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5624835245869913458" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRtY4NHYRm-5dDJgiRIMBJoAct-qc5x_I8J1u4H6iEixM0ljNpgYW4-xT5S7CpX9ZNLZXvijk0qZ7uxRpMQgStk4OOHzepJTGAEuGmadX8XZp9C84T0AGj0KFRJGODFacaKWU9/s400/180514_1594105381712_1508250217_1189663_1174612_n%255B1%255D.jpg" /></div><div align="center"><br />this is 25 weeks, just woke up from my sunday after church nap...not lookin too hot so just look at the belly. still feeling great though, i was even able to take the kids to the lake ALL BY MYSELF. that was so amazing for me considering how sick i had been with the last two. i was SO proud of myself and i felt like a real mom who can do stuff! :)<br /></div><div align="center"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 300px; height: 400px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5624835393671331634" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRVbxiCvqImzJBFbJDl-ikDN7rCi1kfGRnoFda4XoY8mNbv8ePawOf5YEHv1hKdcqKPQfqSxAesVRThZPq1t0xnrKbcIpqJB0DQKI18Lu2Hnlp3qEdVK8vcM9YPTl9VNJcR6Mm/s400/205546_1689849055244_1508250217_1311216_3577786_n%255B1%255D.jpg" /><br />this is 28 weeks! not yet uncomfortable and so excited to finally be in my third trimester.<br />we found out at 19 weeks that we are having a baby boy. we are naming him ashton james. to say that we were excited to find out that he was a boy would be the understatement of the century. there really are no words to describe the explosion that went off in my chest when the announcement was made. another baby boy to squeeze and kiss. i can't wait to meet this special little boy.<br /><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 300px; height: 400px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5624835533489037906" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_sBVD3zFk09R3yVAARAffNM_3YrlnLTvkX7XLuQrJatjMH-Wo6iyMzFAt8q-e_gCats18Vwt7huwnPz97wiMfta2MobvKr0KLKvZcohd3j-MKclDQSSEtGwRpLzhWcW5y8Joi/s400/225380_1729630929766_1508250217_1367046_4629290_n%255B1%255D.jpg" /></div><div align="center"><br />33 weeks!!!!!! i wish i could still report that i feel great but the truth of the matter is i am miserable!!!! about 2 weeks before this picture i started feeling awful and started having anxiety attacks and i mean physically painful anxiety. i'd like to pinpoint exactly what triggered it in this pregnancy but there was so much all at once that it would be impossible to. i have at least 4 a day and they are debilitating. i'm not much of a mom these days and that in itself causes harm to me. it's summer and the kids are home and they need activity and they need ME! jeff no longer works from home so he's not here to be the buffer that i desperately need.<br /></div><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 300px; height: 400px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5624835687990720434" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv1wqQkgUE4Y9lTh6Q-NRHfh22wFbDBvc6bj0aXHrpvwbmdiGSrhyAxpMQL3eapz2uIxUHGXSjlzq-T2XBQRWgRSie18cVGdrm0ivzQp_uJYlK2WV3lrbCX2Hf7-0dQHhF-cfB/s400/263554_1862061240441_1508250217_1489570_3972763_n%255B1%255D.jpg" /><p align="center"><br />i'm 36 weeks now and being induced in 3 weeks. we all (even the kids) know that this difficult time is almost over and we are hanging in there. i also was diagnosed with gestational diabetes which i know contributes to some of the physical discomfort.<br />all in all friends this pregnancy has been AMAZING and even though i have suffered for the last month or so i really have been so blessed with the best attitude (mostly) toward the trials that i have been faced with. this boy is a gift to me, a gift like nothing i have ever received, he is special and was meant to be a benintendi.<br />i can't wait to share Ashton's story...super soon i promise! :)<br /><br /> <http: com="" blogid="19034751&postID=853232973309690115"><br /></http:></p></div>stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08804749794097645656noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19034751.post-9519613389528381312010-12-31T09:10:00.012-07:002011-07-02T12:03:18.890-07:00the truth of the matter<div><div><div><div><div align="center"><font style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">here's an old post from december that i never shared! hmmm! my my my how life has changed since then.</font></div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">you can always count on me to tell you all of the things you never wanted to know. :)</div><br /><div> </div><br /><div align="center">this is me a couple of months ago (4 lbs lighter than now) i like this person. not just because she looks better and feels better but because of all of the hardships in life that have "refined" her and followed her to this place.</div><br /><div> </div><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvKiLa8jeVOt3Fkllm_e7iEd4oS8kMpsKDBYfmEvdnYHMP6eTNcLCDk6QQEqGXwrnjr6W0lOTrVTx_9k8ir-Xuk4QdgB4I3YIt96zpjty1v9gRLKlVu6lRXUXVq5vS14A10GA5/s1600/62418_1413911356974_1508250217_873276_5570457_n%255B1%255D.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 289px; height: 400px; text-align: center; display: block;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5556882177567997186" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvKiLa8jeVOt3Fkllm_e7iEd4oS8kMpsKDBYfmEvdnYHMP6eTNcLCDk6QQEqGXwrnjr6W0lOTrVTx_9k8ir-Xuk4QdgB4I3YIt96zpjty1v9gRLKlVu6lRXUXVq5vS14A10GA5/s400/62418_1413911356974_1508250217_873276_5570457_n%255B1%255D.jpg" /></a> </div><br /><div align="center">this is me in february of 2010. life had been hard and at times extremely unfair and out of my control. this woman ate because it was one of the only places that joy could be found. </div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVesNlpeH7o4y1bNbOdXO1Td-kOnlV7Q_b4-i1WlgUEDZP7U0ogk12WB0E49PzlcjSMpsutqc7L-INf8fhjwl3-3a3y8JY7k5EDVxFgaPbjExMBocvIEB_INpdm_6hNWKXKj5M/s1600/24822_1250272866114_1508250217_523651_6947490_n%255B1%255D.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 400px; height: 267px; text-align: center; display: block;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5556881956271718994" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVesNlpeH7o4y1bNbOdXO1Td-kOnlV7Q_b4-i1WlgUEDZP7U0ogk12WB0E49PzlcjSMpsutqc7L-INf8fhjwl3-3a3y8JY7k5EDVxFgaPbjExMBocvIEB_INpdm_6hNWKXKj5M/s400/24822_1250272866114_1508250217_523651_6947490_n%255B1%255D.jpg" /></a> </div><br /><div align="center">when things became safe in my life i was able to address the fact that the thing that i thought was bringing me joy was actually making me <a href="http://tateryin.blogspot.com/2009/08/how-other-people-see-me.html">fat</a> and <a href="http://tateryin.blogspot.com/2009/08/how-other-people-see-me.html">uncomfortable<br /><br /></a><br /><div></div>i've learned that for me when life is hard i need to focus on the the things that i know have to be fixed for life to go on and neglect the rest. well trust me when i say that my weight wasn't even a problem compared to the termoil that i was in. life is not without it's trials today but i am happy to report that my 45 lb. weightloss is proof that my life was free of termoil and i was able to recocognize joy in many other places in my life. i have felt amazing and so in control of me. my life is a much happier place.<br /><br /><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><br /><br /><div align="center"></div></div></div></div></div></div>stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08804749794097645656noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19034751.post-54396574356364477962010-06-18T04:08:00.004-07:002010-06-18T09:09:00.692-07:00WAY too early morning thoughts<div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">i haven't been able to sleep for DAYS! i am so frustrated i don't know what to do with myself. it's 4 am and i have been awake for over an hour. usually when <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">i'm</span> awake it's because i can't turn my brain off and <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">i'm</span> thinking about things that are upsetting. well this time <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">i'm</span> awake for other reasons and my brain is thinking about my sweet kids...who they are and who they're becoming. there are things that i want to remember, things that i put on <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">facebook</span>. at this point <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">facebook</span> doesn't have a way of printing out my status' so about a month or 2 ago i went back quite a bit (they don't make that easy either) and copy and pasted all of the things that i said about my kids or my husband or just the things that i always want to remember. <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-error">i'm</span> not sad that i put those things on <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-error">facebook</span>, (even though it has been work to retrieve that stuff)even if i was blogging regularly i don't think that i would log into my blogger account every time the kids said or did something funny and <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" class="blsp-spelling-error">i'm</span> garbage at writing that stuff down. </span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">here are some things that <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" class="blsp-spelling-error">facebook</span> doesn't know:</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_9" class="blsp-spelling-error">tristan</span> is turning 11 tomorrow!!!! i can't believe that it's been 11 years since my sweet boy made me a mommy. he is so great! i haven't always felt exactly that way. he is a lot like me and it's never an easy thing to have two of the same people living under one roof. he is so funny and has us laughing all the time. he is maturing in ways that i love and appreciate. i love that we can talk about things freely and comfortably. he is so talented! his dad bought an electric guitar and an amp for his fathers day/birthday and he is teaching him to play. he picks up on music SO FAST! <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_10" class="blsp-spelling-error">tristan</span> has really taken an interest in ventriloquism. he's getting a 30 in. puppet for his birthday and he knows it, he is so excited...he's good you guys, REALLY good! i know that in just a few short years this boy will become a teenager and not be the cutest but for now i like who he is and that he still lets me love him.</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_11" class="blsp-spelling-error">jenna</span> has always been a bit reserved but has really come out of her shell in the last year or so. she is so funny a witty, i love a quick <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_12" class="blsp-spelling-error">witt</span>. the other day we were in the pool and out of nowhere she said "nice leg warmers mom" now i admit, i hadn't shaved my legs in a month so it was pretty nasty but she came up with it so fast and i couldn't stop laughing. she has LONG, THICK, BEAUTIFUL hair that her 9 year old abilities can't take care of so she is ready to chop it off and donate it. anyone would be lucky to have her hair. i will post pictures when we cut it so you can see what i mean. she is such a great artist, she really produces some beautiful work. she is an AMAZING big sister to <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_13" class="blsp-spelling-error">addie</span>, i call her the sissy mommy because she just loves on her and takes such good care of her when she is in her care. i love her sweet disposition...really i just love her.</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_14" class="blsp-spelling-error">tatum</span> loves to sing and dance, she's good at both! she has a knack for sitting down at the piano and teaching herself how to play a song that she loves...this girl has been doing this since she was 4! it is still always a fun surprise when she does it. sometimes i forget how talented she can be. she is a MAJOR daddy's girl which causes quite a commotion around here in a hundred thousand ways and i don't see that changing any time soon. <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_15" class="blsp-spelling-error">tatum</span> is also super funny, i guess all of my kids are really. while we were at outback for dinner last night <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_16" class="blsp-spelling-error">addie</span> put some of their bread in her mouth (it's dark brown) and then put her pacifier in on top of it and the bread was hanging out of her mouth. to that <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_17" class="blsp-spelling-error">tatum</span> announces, "<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_18" class="blsp-spelling-error">addie's</span> pooping out of her mouth!" <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_19" class="blsp-spelling-error">jeff</span> got a picture on his phone and if i remember i will post it here. only one of my kids would even consider saying something like that. her brain is for sure a special one. i love her spunk but not her sass. she has everyone around here afraid of her. her and <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_20" class="blsp-spelling-error">tristan</span> were having a bit of an encounter and <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_21" class="blsp-spelling-error">tristan</span> took off up the stairs. she yelled up at him, "yeah, you better run!" i wanted to punish her but <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_22" class="blsp-spelling-error">jeff</span> and i just laid in our bed and laughed. SO funny!</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_23" class="blsp-spelling-error">addie</span> is such a special girl. her favorite things are cheese and ice, she LOVES to drink water and if i could type out the sound that she makes when she is thirsty i would because it is to die for cute. there aren't many thing that aren't cute about that girl. she is so squish and i can't get enough of her goodness. i want her to stay small for a little longer. she keeps growing out of things and i just want to stand still in time for little while with her RIGHT NOW! she is so fun! she says so many words and is SO SMART! i always think my kids are smart but this one is learning so quickly that it absolutely blows my mind. i love the way she smells when she wakes up! if i could bottle that scent i would. she loves me and i know it, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_24" class="blsp-spelling-error">i'm</span> pretty sure she knows how crazy i am about her. i just can't get enough! i LOVE my little miss <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_25" class="blsp-spelling-error">addie</span>!</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"></span> </div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">as much as being awake at this time is <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_26" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">AWFUL</span> reflecting on these things and putting them to words was AWESOME!</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"></div>stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08804749794097645656noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19034751.post-52297649605748434452010-05-13T08:20:00.002-07:002010-05-13T09:03:56.519-07:00things are changing around here<div align="center"><a href="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/family%20pictures/IMG_6193-.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 512px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 768px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/family%20pictures/IMG_6193-.jpg" /></a> yesterday i took the plunge...i told my boy about the birds and the bee's. <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">tristan</span> has know things about our amazing bodies since i was pregnant with <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">addie</span> and over the last couple of years he has asked MANY questions and i had decided long ago that i would would be as honest with my kids as i possibly could about the matters of life. </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center"> i remember how it made me feel to start my period and not <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">really</span> know what was happening. i remember hearing about "sex" from the kids at school and pretending like i knew what they were talking about and feeling YUCK about what i had heard. on a side note this is how my mom found out when she was a girl...all on her own, so in her defence letting me figure it out on my own was what she thought was <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">ok</span> to do. i knew that i didn't want that for my kids. i want my kids to be armed with this information. i want them to know that heavenly father created us and planed this whole thing out and that's it's not gross or dirty, that it's such an inspired plan. i don't want ideas swimming around in their little heads. I WANT THEM TO KNOW!!!! and i want to be the one to tell them.</div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">it was a great experience and he said some really cute and some REALLY hilarious things. my favorite thing that he said that i just knew that i need to document was:</div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;"><strong>THERE ARE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE HOW I FEEL ABOUT HE THINGS THAT YOU JUST TOLD ME!</strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;"></span> </div><div align="center">he looked me straight in the face and said it so slow and steady and it made me smile because i knew exactly how he felt but i took comfort in knowing that he was in the safest place to learn such a sacred lesson and now he knows. he knows how babies are made but most importantly he learned it from me.</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;"></span> </div>stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08804749794097645656noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19034751.post-18382762943195555902010-04-06T09:08:00.005-07:002010-04-06T23:25:22.728-07:00look at it before you throw it in the trash<div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">when i clean my house i NEVER just throw papers away! i ALWAYS pick them up and have a look because i never know what treasures i'll find.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">just look at this one! when i read it i laughed out loud all by myself...i couldn't help it!</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyNo-hvphIOCc1ZXqDuimUzsHLwXEQlTGJBXw3O8Vy6GW0jbO-fMsIzI8IrQxuu3-FgaBM_Gtot9jRR7swqG9On8hsN_hZ09WwwyyP_9PVG6JBLtFMhwr1FC5RPMaWfj93YJai/s1600/unork.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 291px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 400px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5457057310402492498" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyNo-hvphIOCc1ZXqDuimUzsHLwXEQlTGJBXw3O8Vy6GW0jbO-fMsIzI8IrQxuu3-FgaBM_Gtot9jRR7swqG9On8hsN_hZ09WwwyyP_9PVG6JBLtFMhwr1FC5RPMaWfj93YJai/s400/unork.jpg" /></a> if you can't read it this is what it says.</div><div align="center"></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:180%;"><strong>L</strong></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">uck</span></span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><span style="font-size:180%;"><strong>U </strong></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">nork</span></span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><span style="font-size:180%;">C</span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">ool</span></span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:180%;">K</span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">aden</span></span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><span style="font-size:180%;">Y</span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">ung</span></span></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">i was laughing so hard at U <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-error">nork</span>...U <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-error">nork</span>!!!!!! <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" class="blsp-spelling-error">hahaha</span>! <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">in case</span> you didn't get what that was it was New York!</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">if i had thrown that away i would have missed out on a good laugh and my daughter would think that that is how you say it/spell it. now all i have to do is remember to fix her when she gets home from school today. :)</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><br /></div><div align="center"></div>stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08804749794097645656noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19034751.post-43385088805770727082010-03-09T12:50:00.004-07:002010-03-10T10:55:06.720-07:00gale force winds<div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">i don't have a single picture but i have to share the events of this day.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">i got my kids off to school and jeff and i set out on a walk together. we just started to do this and i'm so excited to have this time alone with him to talk about our lives and just things, things that make up us, who we were, who we are and who we are trying so hard to become. </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">after our walk tatum came home from school excited to fly her new kite. we waited around a bit and got a little bit of a breeze. we weren't able to get much action out of that kite but it was still fun to be outside together.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">jeff noticed that there was a bit of wind so i scooped up the baby and we all ran outside to give it another try. the kite was four feet off the ground and addie pulled her pacifier out and screamed WOW, WOW, WOW, over and over again. we love to see our baby so excited. for about 10 min we watched as the kite went up and down up and down but never really went anywhere. i was getting ready to throw the kite into the air and a BIG gust of wind came and pulled it up in the air. we were all so excited. the girls and i were laughing and screaming and jumping around when the wind got stronger...i noticed that it looked like the baby was getting blown away so i ran to her to pick her little body up. tatum was still chasing the kite that jeff was struggling to keep control over. i was laughing SO HARD because it was COMPLETELY out of control, about to wrap it's self around power lines and poles, pulling jeff all over. it began to rain and then the hail came. i was trying to help jeff with the kite when i noticed that tatum was being blown across the street and having a hard time staying on her feet. i have to admit that the wind was a bit scary. i was cracking up watching jeff run back to the house. he was getting pelted by the hail. i kinda got nauseous from the laughing and screaming and life saving that was going on. </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">we were able to finally get the kite but i promise it doesn't look the same as it did when we first took it out. as we were getting to the front door 3 different neighbors came outside to make sure that we didn't get carried away. i loved how tanya asked, "what are you doing stacy?" like, you guys are CRAZY! hahahaha!</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">i am exhausted! it was so much fun! i can't remember the last time we laughed that hard together. i just wish tristan and jenna could have been here with us. SO FUN!!!!</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">i just read this back and it just doesn't sound as fun here as it really was. i wish you could have all been there to see it. my heart is still pounding just thinking about it. or is it because i'm out of shape and i still haven't caught my breath? :)</span></div>stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08804749794097645656noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19034751.post-63015714084889052462010-01-19T22:35:00.002-07:002010-01-19T22:42:51.435-07:00hhhmmmmmm<div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;">blog...what blog????</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;">i don't know, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">i'm</span> gonna figure this thing out already. i used to love this thing but i just can't make myself sit down and do it. i think i might be overwhelmed by how horribly BEHIND i am. do i catch up or start from here? I JUST DON'T KNOW!</span></div>stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08804749794097645656noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19034751.post-49261755768525022952009-10-13T11:42:00.003-07:002009-10-13T12:21:05.327-07:00a happy heart is what i got<div align="center"><span style="font-family:courier new;font-size:130%;color:#000066;">a thing happened today, only one thing and it made my heart happy. you see, my heart is heavy and not a whole lot does that for me right now. i took a shower, one that was much needed since i hadn't showered since friday evening...don't forget that my heart is heavy, i usually shower daily so try not to judge. while i was drying off i looked up at the fogged up mirror and it said "i love mom" some little person in my house was thinking of me and let the mirror know. </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:courier new;font-size:130%;color:#000066;"></span> </div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:courier new;font-size:130%;color:#000066;">i know they love me but at times like this when i'm not feeling like much of a mother i wonder what they really think of me...like when i'm not coaxing an "i love you" from them by saying it first. they love me, someone loves me and thinks of me...even if it is in the shower.</span> </div>stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08804749794097645656noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19034751.post-81631690124499741342009-09-09T21:44:00.010-07:002009-09-09T21:58:32.773-07:00a kitty can make the world a better place<div align="center">so a tradition in our family is at one of the kids first few birthdays we take them to the build a bear shop at downtown disney and let them choose a bear for them to cuddle and get them through those rough times... teething, night nights, etc...<br /></div><div align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiikFzR6DGsw-a3x5MEej6hlRTD56jQxSMIUeN9Is8efq-l_rvsZe6A9Xr0J3aP6nl95RhF4DGz3K50fWTM1MyHDhaqtPunKNG3plh0_Et_HqnR3beIG9jZupd3-JmNfq4bNSTp/s1600-h/Untitled-1.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379696077735843154" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 200px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiikFzR6DGsw-a3x5MEej6hlRTD56jQxSMIUeN9Is8efq-l_rvsZe6A9Xr0J3aP6nl95RhF4DGz3K50fWTM1MyHDhaqtPunKNG3plh0_Et_HqnR3beIG9jZupd3-JmNfq4bNSTp/s400/Untitled-1.jpg" border="0" /></a> addie chose "angelina" a kitty which looks like our grey cat "frankie" and is about her favorite thing in the world. at this point once you pick the animal, they then stuff it with cotton and you get to put some hearts inside.<br /><br /><div align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPsmgL5Vy0-6-6cFEAeFqQRtFvWrIQdiQ6Dp23y92XaX3H0_T5AUPj1KQ0FQhZAidqIDXvrmB9zGOPyH_0hgIlS1NZQbPBJ2VzPFUZrH8jVUZdzFEp_vyKLRCH3KxzO-4PPWlN/s1600-h/Untitled-2.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379696005908104178" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 200px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPsmgL5Vy0-6-6cFEAeFqQRtFvWrIQdiQ6Dp23y92XaX3H0_T5AUPj1KQ0FQhZAidqIDXvrmB9zGOPyH_0hgIlS1NZQbPBJ2VzPFUZrH8jVUZdzFEp_vyKLRCH3KxzO-4PPWlN/s400/Untitled-2.jpg" border="0" /></a> all of the kids picked a heart and put them into angelina. addie couldn't contain herself, she was going absolutely bananas during this whole ordeal.<br /><br /><div align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaNOmTHsBo-3CTE529xLWaO7eoVHQ4eK5V2fKipfPoqn97ZFLjyNVeKkN_ltWs4jsZ6Mt_Wqyhhy92RqWvqGa5z5lywfkVyP1e6DtBsWfjkKYt64kEFKaJEzaUizFehYr9qgLM/s1600-h/Untitled-3.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379695940698347698" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 200px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaNOmTHsBo-3CTE529xLWaO7eoVHQ4eK5V2fKipfPoqn97ZFLjyNVeKkN_ltWs4jsZ6Mt_Wqyhhy92RqWvqGa5z5lywfkVyP1e6DtBsWfjkKYt64kEFKaJEzaUizFehYr9qgLM/s400/Untitled-3.jpg" border="0" /></a> they then hand her the kitty before they do the final stitching for her to snuggle for a minute and then had the nerve to ask for it back. why give the kid the cat if they aren't finished yet? look at addie's face, she was so sad that they took angelina back. </div><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379696148552878082" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 267px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSF3nmha61cOn31AdBbF8xSIxd1RLUkXeScwI4hZAa-9AMNxh4k7d3CwdsCDG569pwngz3YIgbLT_-tFVvUJAwtiAydSCvhdd3fbDm9EgoNB-7XWJSt1wuJIXIDrnPuhTeKY7r/s400/IMG_2369.jpg" border="0" />after a round of tug-a-war, they finally gave her back to addie and let her give her new kitty a bath and combed her hair<br /><br /><div align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKr93pR2OmaeDwdfTyq3dmnFc7_Tz1F_2QY_y5scWOFRZp6nAGpXRSf7Myk1iKO0oSa5ARGfrosLqp-yI1go7yJoKazJrr6Dj4ya95I8uA8y6p2x8ecoj0USL-CBGrmfRmMyP2/s1600-h/Untitled-4.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379695867509277778" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 200px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKr93pR2OmaeDwdfTyq3dmnFc7_Tz1F_2QY_y5scWOFRZp6nAGpXRSf7Myk1iKO0oSa5ARGfrosLqp-yI1go7yJoKazJrr6Dj4ya95I8uA8y6p2x8ecoj0USL-CBGrmfRmMyP2/s400/Untitled-4.jpg" border="0" /></a> then while everyone was shopping for an outfit, addie had some lunch<br /><br /><div align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEHMsvS7K0uYE8dQStRN3k-W0a00bogdsjxAdyb6nvtD5eFShkjgngwD3u1wlB6ZMwFDOX6-wyGLeeHCe5uizg15albxesLfoVv61NQaq_FFZ5wpUTnv9q-sWzZpAzb26hn3kl/s1600-h/IMG_2386.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379695787615224562" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 267px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEHMsvS7K0uYE8dQStRN3k-W0a00bogdsjxAdyb6nvtD5eFShkjgngwD3u1wlB6ZMwFDOX6-wyGLeeHCe5uizg15albxesLfoVv61NQaq_FFZ5wpUTnv9q-sWzZpAzb26hn3kl/s400/IMG_2386.jpg" border="0" /></a> now she is back with angelina and pretty much can't take a nap without her. that was a fun day.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ_HR6vbU6imoPIQsplqstspxGSG1mottq_ESFOmjnPMzOKKZ9eoFwEEoaMR4E2b0HxOe914SRKDJVxXeCpo_P2jAPEQzvMbVXyQaOuUxd_o6G_aEP_6uQe9sINgbrPngf3bVo/s1600-h/IMG_2378.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379695644363758338" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 315px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ_HR6vbU6imoPIQsplqstspxGSG1mottq_ESFOmjnPMzOKKZ9eoFwEEoaMR4E2b0HxOe914SRKDJVxXeCpo_P2jAPEQzvMbVXyQaOuUxd_o6G_aEP_6uQe9sINgbrPngf3bVo/s400/IMG_2378.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></div></div></div></div>stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08804749794097645656noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19034751.post-38998813044932445902009-09-07T21:28:00.004-07:002009-09-07T21:34:36.488-07:00fun with sqwa bread at outback steakhouseso we enjoyed a nice dinner at outback steakhouse on saturday night with the williams. stacy always enjoys the chopped salad and since i don't eat very much, i'm not really picky there. except when it comes to sqwa bread. Not because i enjoy eating it but because i enjoy exploring my creative side with creating art with bread.<br /><br /><br /><br />saturday i created a wonderful item that i placed on the sidewalk and the williams and stacy and i hid off in the distance to see folks reactions. it was absolutely halarious and sometimes its just fun to be juvenile. here is my creation and i must say... it looks pretty real.<br /><br /><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 303px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5378949697407900786" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWixOshF1ajZdDq5XQTZr-fTo4ickljaWqiiolriJuFPMUdAorJB0828gOH8wibSvmpAiVOHjl_vQY6_Z7STlW8hvqc8q-JzjHCUmmDQEVGP4tgFRfaWS_xWoJzkdBkQwE1eNF/s400/IMG00254.jpg" /><br />-jeff (i hope stacy starts posting things on HER blog so we have some family memories).stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08804749794097645656noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19034751.post-52621517011691032742009-09-01T08:49:00.004-07:002009-09-01T09:25:17.321-07:00you are never alonefortunately and unfortunately stacy and i were able to take some pictures of our dear friend gina and her family and friends for her husbands funeral last week. it was such a struggle for me to capture these images of the last time they will see their husband, father, son and brother. although stacy and i are know that we can be with our family and friends again once we part this earth , it is still almost impossible to imagine life without jeremy. <div></div><br /><div>as i was editing some of the images, i came across this picture of gina and immediately saw her in a different light. we can sometimes in the throws of an unimaginable situation feel completely alone and abandoned. i am not even pretending to understand what gina is going through. when i see this picture i can almost feel her emotions and expressions of having those loved ones around you and those closest to us and yet we feel completely alone. </div><div> </div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5376528715778224882" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfNDcFvF0chW4sTPZwcPxkW7SlBGp82gCbu2x2CgxeUuEOVYSXTAMj4WaZ0btzbHHZhnACANOT_5svs6sc55SGTKAehIC2jJDPi-Jl5F8UefKUu2hvrqasO_qe7eH3Berpyn6U/s400/IMG_2733-.jpg" border="0" /> <div></div><div>i am grateful to know that we are never alone. even when we feel like there is no way forward, no way out or no peace... where that lump in our throat never goes away or the tears just seem to stop because there is nothing left. we are never alone! i am so grateful to have captured this image. gina, you are not alone and never will be alone. i see all of the family and friends surrounding gina in this picture, i can't help but think that there are thousands surrounding us on the other side that are unseen lifting us up and carrying us through our trials. how else can a mother of four and one on the way move forward from this unexplainable situation. </div><div></div><br /><div>we love you more than you know gina. you are in our thoughts, prayers, discussions and we are thinking of you more than we think of ourselves. you are never alone. </div><div></div><br /><div>love you... Jeff </div>stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08804749794097645656noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19034751.post-57193674570051962242009-08-26T13:07:00.027-07:002009-08-26T15:32:03.874-07:00faces?<div align="center"> so stacy is going to kill me (and some of her friends) for this post. Some of you don't know, but stacy is obsessed with taking pictures of herself (see below). Tristan even said today "Dad, how come Mom takes pictures of herself like that:"<br /></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374396110514157010" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnYyIUHDje8yAsIIXpPoZFjNRXAp9QH2O4pWmyMlfV51jYsl5nIwfcLRZD5IBDK0I8-V4M_uNf-4_zsrux3rCovDJYQn-yPR9AXaT4PchWJx9UQfVA2rU69FEipJHrGa5QoaOe/s400/me.jpg" border="0" /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374387750756124898" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh38a_w4WAB5wP1xd0BsfoZhpCFO9MbBxZisdNxSqS7cN33uhTs6umZBM4FsyTLvbGn2oUBh8rYFLFAGQ1Jbj8OW6f5IRcwHzyRPprmlp-pr8_Tps-w1e_KKvNhVGcbd4csq9ov/s400/IMG_2318.jpg" border="0" /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374387837089538674" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFmsp0YjSkEaGTPR7bazZukWVEQ8Ncx1AligOsiLUASxIVYAWBW6Da9TIQd41XOmPRGM_bFnKuMqJAsIXF6GlUI1Mfy7lsWMqfI8y5Dn90H_9ezNCXRZEPM_AaALwy-JftVo-F/s400/IMG_0366.jpg" border="0" /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374387912605291602" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 266px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMTsiy9Wu4thR7Y2r9MyUW7gjSEyS2ItBbv_KevJX-YSnO02nDoex76CGRjap7VFjvMmYXvD77IlXvf26Dd-D6qC4lT4AQrkQhVspd5P-h7338Uwj_zaRYPjUa7dlc1ELlpqMR/s400/388J0074.jpg" border="0" /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374387992150770098" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2OBomvR2XuUKlnurk5WF1nSH2xDSpYLNO_1UjJn1N8SO5aWaiygXNyOzuof3cntznAvSIQbuc4Xa2OyxUasB4CliwwKSyKkfO4fmCHkEL-Jpuj4JxkFCmX4WFfgzNR9vbv0vI/s400/IMG_0441.jpg" border="0" /><br /><p align="center">She actually takes a picture of us helping her push while she is delivering addie... seriously?<br /></p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374389598911910098" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJSvm2zm0ekQ6MbXpS5tVpwyEo9IX_JiMb-gIu3Com6Utp-o7Og87v86l6Q39wBN57GtUpEhtluuJi06Gw1KE3HGdoZvhwqyDxoKaY0EejXmw0WPvmNaMBVzwHGN0lVS9bTlS4/s400/IMG_2041.JPG" border="0" /><br /><br /><p align="center">and sometimes she gets so desperate, when she can't reach far enough away to get the picture, she won't give up... she exerts every ounce of energy and any method possible to take the picture. Look at the pain and angioush she goes through to get this critical "couples shot" of the two of us:<br /></p><br /><p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374371698282193410" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg62oYgFDMr61ASrbYa1ZpfG-lh_D0a3veGxYfbN29IojkIBmprUF1X3NxX8wDaYREQn_UPc84N9CQCfa6p6w6XMmmK8vX8hLF7hvy-8PjtkN7kulRe1u4z-zNQqVkucbVY_u-e/s400/IMG_0649.jpg" border="0" /> </p><p align="center">She even has Tatum doing it</p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374403718151097122" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHRq7HATYcApkJ4t2nsbXvGS7yAv73wZuw1VLkm8RbTCRIW5k-GyUGGHyWajTAtbZm0H97OqGnVf_7ZyDIRdSXWVH33jRAxtyYoeTiQHlt-CjssueOrD4Ym5kFkrJ9JgeSUx8F/s400/IMG_1038.JPG" border="0" /> <p align="center"></p><p>but stacy isn't the only one doing strange things. here are some of stacy's best friends, I love them to death but I just don't get it. also, what the heck is stacy doing to elvis?<br /><br /></p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374382748315231970" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 395px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH5klED-lgPj2_aHcX5fFcvMh8ordergrhQTfyOk-u3a3BDTGYtOnX6BDdlFgDM9utNNvGQVkQ987PKF0twK-r9k3JFY66eYIN_wBJ8uMwFFNIN1vwCoXr-3F8zr2gAYQvc2Ob/s400/Amber.jpg" border="0" /><br /><p align="center">what is up with the angry coleslaw? </p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374397115915654194" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij8WucZQHtVN7WXn-UBog_260mQtmNtDbI0d3SYDoqYIeA3xDPucNe-qMTShXF86xjWr2vJbj8YDm_VYx9jg1vIaV-8WzonmqReJv7Cz1PvuiI348vfqGSxrJKrRO0mJ5uiW3q/s400/IMG_2306.JPG" border="0" /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374397194345669122" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvLpt66GRK8XTw08ukoP0XW54IISlf4mCwfIfbgNtpHirE9yIuK64DfftsNt7NCMdgfPWFAO5-Dzij4cgF2rFR7FHCnmc-sjchIlKhZrs8os6ZgIzj4-eobYq_BJR-lk21E6tv/s400/IMG_2307.JPG" border="0" /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374382519124518962" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 324px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsy7wiLDImzgEgB2XNpoclDIYKKPg1rKUlbzZE1NeFhqy4wp376dNhA1tunbfFj4K9RYMcSoI-HRdGwOonCb5iyIWQNxcjaF_mjBLcKzPwBsgFbvDpExt0poDtC3l9Z9_RWRPh/s400/Sarah_Retro.jpg" border="0" /> <img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374384225092310178" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 278px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikIVagoKpA8O_Sz-90kmPRQE1EaBv-7m6_pe9iVKEa48LyKqvFjl5NqjnL3OzeoxhCL4jwfeOPE4EA2e0JgkZlIraz6b51Wn16_VZ7VOKJkSLrnoogU7ZtA_iauDb0lE7rYaoi/s400/me&elvis.jpg" border="0" /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374383279466617362" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 383px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihK1Zb36KW9o83Wk6bhyphenhyphencv5zCXK4HhJ1yPv93YrV2DLsB2KqIhcL_I5n7jOy5a4Mod1f7Q2Yjraj_e4ItRAVz52AJW-YbWbIMOMV_VSr8wvGsyf4ECgsB62hYpl6Q_G0ySIQmx/s400/AMBER---.jpg" border="0" /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374383932943337122" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 276px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1xmN28RQXoJ8N9jdP6AZEDsSLd3dMXk7Qfr-3_tYudSUTPpeZGi6JBy9m6ditG9Q2owO4QtNlhHjmAYVQPKTHoeyM6B9nsPl8SL0FO5614Kwh7sZ-HiztBkL8Eh7J9r6q0inU/s400/IMG_0115.jpg" border="0" /><br /><p align="center">I don't think Rich will ever look at Amber the same, EVER AGAIN! </p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374382625798553426" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 267px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBgbq02sQvS1Dd8DZ8k8mFd8rq3imbII7kZMXR5pUgECFo7hSMQNxy67XSIUsHSYvAh-gTF-KYRpcmcB9fVX9-KVbca5g112jhLdXIF1kTQA2z04fj9VaLjnwbJcnsqxG9aSAe/s400/IMG_3199.JPG" border="0" /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374383177802237266" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEiVRobL1eWI9H0Mhp4qLuvCdmaEIQlAOykzsY9kwtr7vEbsVsmAudiL0NzkJDmYJ4jS4hT9K8FkuQlCSgiOKeFMmqmfgf3QzpznqChDefnLndLGHdoPkiFqbPv0ibJSE8dDSa/s400/IMG_0241.JPG" border="0" /><br /><p align="center">I am not innocent but I think a triathlon is a pretty normal use for half of the faces above and acceptable to most of society. I would think swimming, being mugged, lifting heavy objects or if you are just really stopped up are all good application for these faces. Not sure why they are being used above.<br /><br /></p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374395119285774466" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkFFd6q5uvVLzS2QO_1ZDZ_1eG1ber1zad83Zgsd0AtQnIgOBPJpR2wBQXOXLIhPAj3W74wVMx1t-hxdYjDzE72ryij3MRfWzLE1DC9Vc8A_YKGE_WtuZ_2cXbHi9I87FXy1us/s400/IMG_6102.jpg" border="0" /><br /><p align="center">what I don't understand with how beautiful everyone is why the faces?</p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374401954158418146" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8s1ArXrZ6faF465HtV_NeO9STLhct8tA2MEUIRk11IwyL2l7xzfQqpADgAsaHyW7qkRbX_H3xj__5dikALSG1MpR5PzYHlmAVN4m-ZDe29EDiiGRiZn5xepddT1OfcrVZd53L/s400/Stacy+2.jpg" border="0" /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374402199629314098" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 267px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfBok2RV7J7VARPb_ZYcHOskFX_iH_VQFr_qApifWCoWqhor5flDx2HBDpS9f3yx-DjsNgqfZeUFXjmodOBp14b2ZfA477nHq4jjUKXFg9coufEH51WBgG3ErPgyFFRadHIr0n/s400/IMG_0376+copy.jpg" border="0" /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374402112722210066" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 267px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ3-4asSIhW1SyLDB5z05PLu2PH2bmUtFuogOa2qWkEFqxHDFG9-TdANCWvtOQFYJmVamHpd0iYbavDxdy_N9if4dBP27yUSi58XfmxZE8Gyo8GTPholgj0W6c4Z70AjwhAsi8/s400/ash.jpg" border="0" /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374402293818265826" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 266px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfE0ONujBuWoc8XfTY57dsfcsW4GEQOIocyxPVbeO4EXXOIN_cFr8zMroonQJG9kYcLtbFa6AzW7XXVYX5wo-ttzxaTUClW1OWfqqQ9M-Ii-kd2NeGUEGif6vUknlikApoR6IH/s400/sarah+color.jpg" border="0" /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374402041851797122" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 266px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid7UoxWZuHvfyQgP8eqHGbmZU13tNWbeCADR99IjMhfsoRN5Ze5fURxCQUuZIcyNah30NAjZzo5a06cO11XEflF1pvi1mWWaxirrCc3L1y2LtygDpGSxHdsMdQ0-LlXSdkoHWI/s400/IMG_1708.jpg" border="0" /><br /><div align="center">my wife is super cute and I love her. this is my favorite picture of her having fun and being normal: </div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374379303180901778" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOnFSzNyW3ph7lRV-obGbCOYvGojf2jG69yl7Pxz_z03ig5-lect_E2t8wHG8xPMANn1eZ7ev3N14lNSUdxnIPXdt0OAEOZgpGDj5h4Td3TK6nOb6gB6n_etlQd4PHbTj4vWty/s400/IMG_2102.jpg" border="0" /><br /><p align="center">Have a good day!<br /><br />-Jeff </p>stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08804749794097645656noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19034751.post-50568778089402322162009-08-23T09:28:00.002-07:002009-08-23T09:44:50.672-07:00<div align="center"> </div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">gina</span> (far left) is one of my favorite people on the planet. she has the sweetest smile and is BEYOND generous. she has an abundance of amazing qualities. amber and i always imitate her super high pitched voice and all of the words in the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">english</span> language that are "hers" :)</span></div><div align="center"><a href="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/n1197723547_30184464_42315001.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 604px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 453px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/n1197723547_30184464_42315001.jpg" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:180%;"> this morning <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">gina</span> and her 4 kids with her 5<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">th</span> baby on the way were left behind by her husband who was called home to live with his heavenly father. please pray for her and her kids who rely on him so much. pray for them to have strength through this unimaginable trial. i know that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">jeremy</span> is going to send a special spirit to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">gina</span> and her kids in that new baby. i love to think of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">jeremy</span> having a reunion of sorts with that special little baby. </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;"></span> </div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;">i love you <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">holt</span> family</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;"></span> </div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;">i love you <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">jeremy</span></span> </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center"> </div>stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08804749794097645656noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19034751.post-58049324999563813042009-08-20T12:17:00.005-07:002009-08-20T13:12:22.357-07:00how other people see me<div align="center"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">i've</span> never been one to worry how other people "see" me. i mean, i understand that i am the kind of person that people really like and have a ton of fun around or they just don't get me and can't stand to be around me because <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">i'm</span> just too much for them. i understand both, i like the first the best but TOTALLY understand the people that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">i'm</span> too much for and it doesn't hurt my feelings a bit. :)</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQs3KgcV5j6813gYNRs_Fdel4c8IIJR3B5JtujA5ALBIPe-OeMVOmcF3S2UjtIsJK1WVMFvcuzDYcf4PwIlPxUsBouRdZIolADzRgGmGjbDPBMRxvHQSU9ktxq9bUNDZfaxEV5/s1600-h/booth%5B1%5D.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5372128987293245506" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 319px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQs3KgcV5j6813gYNRs_Fdel4c8IIJR3B5JtujA5ALBIPe-OeMVOmcF3S2UjtIsJK1WVMFvcuzDYcf4PwIlPxUsBouRdZIolADzRgGmGjbDPBMRxvHQSU9ktxq9bUNDZfaxEV5/s400/booth%5B1%5D.jpg" border="0" /></a> life has never been easy for me and i am fully aware that most people feel the same of their lives. life can be just plain hard at times. one thing that i have always struggled with is how i look...the other way that people "see" me. in my eyes i have never been cute enough or thin enough and as long as i can remember i have been on some kind of diet...yes, even in theses pics.</div><div align="center"><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbqiXNZV4xs8GqJsGWG3LykTaD4BRF-8spHWPBVKy4qFe06p1WN1UxKoxgsYDOEGfDP2T0-0-GgKeF30ElAMXSC-c7LXkgUBhHOqvs-7qybQxnDiw1EKB299Ya2U1z-5DndWvj/s1600-h/bally%5B1%5D.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5372128970976952498" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 379px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 288px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbqiXNZV4xs8GqJsGWG3LykTaD4BRF-8spHWPBVKy4qFe06p1WN1UxKoxgsYDOEGfDP2T0-0-GgKeF30ElAMXSC-c7LXkgUBhHOqvs-7qybQxnDiw1EKB299Ya2U1z-5DndWvj/s400/bally%5B1%5D.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />that body below wasn't good enough for me. men looked at it and whistled at it as i walked down the street but when i looked at it it made me sad. i have <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">ALWAY</span> said that my best feature is my hair. that is a lot of pressure for a hair stylist because if they mess up <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">i've</span> got nothing. :)<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnGHD_Rq_2fpb-HSmLv-O_kfHMC_KUhT9aMSDR24gxB5Sd_t1Hga61unyII2g6HkH7RkpepLZLw3kfSfEiHFDSy-FHZ77fAX2C8Qs1n85l8mh4pVsDfsYi1lmMPbvOH45eGsFB/s1600-h/back+side.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5372128779555563250" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 266px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnGHD_Rq_2fpb-HSmLv-O_kfHMC_KUhT9aMSDR24gxB5Sd_t1Hga61unyII2g6HkH7RkpepLZLw3kfSfEiHFDSy-FHZ77fAX2C8Qs1n85l8mh4pVsDfsYi1lmMPbvOH45eGsFB/s400/back+side.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />somehow with that <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">hideous</span> body ;) i was able to find a man to marry me and to this very day he has never complained that my body isn't good enough. no matter what size <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">i've</span> been he LOVES my body. what more could i ask for right?<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBk7T8o_eUSvZoAPFd6BSn9JLAwyUfULXMYM20gIquTWgNBE6Hcbjky6WHi6wJo1AlDLnbKN81lKiFuozHRb4ScaKbPUqri6hUvZJ06k90n-d9Ov-aFrW2zh0Kr1XGEo7ZBXMD/s1600-h/group+2-.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5372128771707766162" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBk7T8o_eUSvZoAPFd6BSn9JLAwyUfULXMYM20gIquTWgNBE6Hcbjky6WHi6wJo1AlDLnbKN81lKiFuozHRb4ScaKbPUqri6hUvZJ06k90n-d9Ov-aFrW2zh0Kr1XGEo7ZBXMD/s400/group+2-.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />i had babies and gained a little extra weight and was totally uncomfortable in my skin but could still look at myself in the mirror and in pictures. i didn't think much about how people would "see" me i just cared that i was acceptable to me because i was a though <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">audience</span>.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPVL0FWgCUrlx6B8qMbpoczfoWYuafg8xTyOXctiKRMQYGEcH0GqxIAQYqhJPeMv1cOSqfWjdyKvpALynuye8DKcZ7fm5XiXOAWtByl3AeUXogxIUcMDD65hyphenhyphenZxLJF7JfdMBQB/s1600-h/me+%26+mom.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5372128762846346978" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPVL0FWgCUrlx6B8qMbpoczfoWYuafg8xTyOXctiKRMQYGEcH0GqxIAQYqhJPeMv1cOSqfWjdyKvpALynuye8DKcZ7fm5XiXOAWtByl3AeUXogxIUcMDD65hyphenhyphenZxLJF7JfdMBQB/s400/me+%26+mom.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />cute huh? <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Jeff's</span> 30<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">th</span>!<br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2kRN4Rhmm26yu704WrQSnR_F8HVIGnM9wD4avofqbmXbDpx7xOoIflLQejxhzkMjg7j6oPoS39-ncSmuLEV79C6b4k3nduemaWtFZ0KTUhFBxjgEl_JRkDnM6GDo8jmYlQ1xu/s1600-h/80's+party.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5372128747264798994" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 267px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2kRN4Rhmm26yu704WrQSnR_F8HVIGnM9wD4avofqbmXbDpx7xOoIflLQejxhzkMjg7j6oPoS39-ncSmuLEV79C6b4k3nduemaWtFZ0KTUhFBxjgEl_JRkDnM6GDo8jmYlQ1xu/s400/80's+party.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />a couple of week ago i went to the gym and did a class where me and my body were staring right back at me. when i look at myself i don't see the parts that are my worst because i ignore them. i know that i won't like them anyway. i know what the scale says and i know it tells the truth but my brain can't think of my body in those #'s</div><div> </div><div>this is me! the me that i don't show everyone on my blog. the me without a child standing in front of me to "cover" up the lbs. that have crept on over the years.<br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQDtmJEmeeAQYogHNBKHN5rFstMh4zMOcmtppZK_SxBrb2HQ13xFdadpJmDJ6dgoTqzUf1KzxDZ0oUnPVaXdJxm9oDOoFzHZ1PERJbd0Evw-jUN2JUZfQk5VcRN2Cnxqr3HRq8/s1600-h/IMG_0118.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5372128739558770946" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQDtmJEmeeAQYogHNBKHN5rFstMh4zMOcmtppZK_SxBrb2HQ13xFdadpJmDJ6dgoTqzUf1KzxDZ0oUnPVaXdJxm9oDOoFzHZ1PERJbd0Evw-jUN2JUZfQk5VcRN2Cnxqr3HRq8/s400/IMG_0118.JPG" border="0" /></a><br />this is my body the way that my husband sees it and takes a picture anyway.<br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh8eYOr3yE1QvvAUII7ZEvbEMXoFx0BMdzKoZYqR5l8bGaqga42qUKiPE0Lm5lQU6Cql2W83nvk4xARuINlRr8-N6hwiBbKjO9-aK8mHnmOvrg6lyJBmEC78o_Iq35ZWBWLSCi/s1600-h/IMG_5949.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5372128286787545794" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh8eYOr3yE1QvvAUII7ZEvbEMXoFx0BMdzKoZYqR5l8bGaqga42qUKiPE0Lm5lQU6Cql2W83nvk4xARuINlRr8-N6hwiBbKjO9-aK8mHnmOvrg6lyJBmEC78o_Iq35ZWBWLSCi/s400/IMG_5949.JPG" border="0" /></a><br />this is me hiding behind my kids and after seeing the picture afterward realizing that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">i'm</span> not really hiding <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">after all</span>. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">i'm</span> gonna have to have 3 more kids to help me out with that.<br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFRs310eaypSTmWShrIuQg6ivdQZ4tGZG2j_h6ltc2pF0_UT8uYf3Nw37Nk_Y8IDZBsZYqYEi6Z5T5DzsXctZ7C-CwP8Y6fyJzjZm19ZBHcUfa0CZIpsmh5R4TCaV1K0CPrWDx/s1600-h/IMG_0358.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5372128260191654626" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFRs310eaypSTmWShrIuQg6ivdQZ4tGZG2j_h6ltc2pF0_UT8uYf3Nw37Nk_Y8IDZBsZYqYEi6Z5T5DzsXctZ7C-CwP8Y6fyJzjZm19ZBHcUfa0CZIpsmh5R4TCaV1K0CPrWDx/s400/IMG_0358.JPG" border="0" /></a><br />this is how i look when my friends see me. i am so sorry. until i saw this i had no idea what i was exposing you to.<br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPN-eJSk2QRrVOFf5HAyy9OX3WWYbwW-0ZSP8Z7YfvyQVIlFj504jfDh-uWqfcQ-O4hsY6GbjT9EwwZ16V944DM2zfP1OjV__NLpfp0w9crI0dZf_S_elFtQm1UDAB-ckhWLcx/s1600-h/group3-.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5372128246555613506" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 267px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPN-eJSk2QRrVOFf5HAyy9OX3WWYbwW-0ZSP8Z7YfvyQVIlFj504jfDh-uWqfcQ-O4hsY6GbjT9EwwZ16V944DM2zfP1OjV__NLpfp0w9crI0dZf_S_elFtQm1UDAB-ckhWLcx/s400/group3-.jpg" border="0" /></a>that is how other people really see me and until i saw some of these pictures and some that i just couldn't show you this is how i still saw myself.<br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvK4sq1ctGBsMkfmPs2PCkaXcTBDuHPrriG7A2utaFI1jphi6wjVVoHMtXuUsP9J2PpBb89x-OwRcFgo1pCNr34ikX0yy7hzsZHpN4leou7lgjh-f223U6Oi7t6lQQ5Opi8GUt/s1600-h/group+2.-.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5372128234884242546" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvK4sq1ctGBsMkfmPs2PCkaXcTBDuHPrriG7A2utaFI1jphi6wjVVoHMtXuUsP9J2PpBb89x-OwRcFgo1pCNr34ikX0yy7hzsZHpN4leou7lgjh-f223U6Oi7t6lQQ5Opi8GUt/s400/group+2.-.jpg" border="0" /></a>i see myself in a dressing room mirror, see myself in the mirror at the gym next to other people, see pictures of myself how i really am not the pose i choose to fake out the camera and the rest of you who can't see the real me from where you are. i have seen me the way that other people see me and i am uncomfortable and embarrassed. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><br /></div>stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08804749794097645656noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19034751.post-13989174373944788922009-08-16T19:28:00.002-07:002009-08-16T19:33:40.534-07:00question of the day<div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;">why are men so nasty?????</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;">now when i ask this question i realize that not all of you have gross husbands or men in your life but i got lucky and acquired MANY of those kind of men.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;">so another question might be...</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;">why do SOME men think certain scents are funny and fun and think it's a good idea to share with EVERYONE?????</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;">now discuss and i will elaborate sooner than you probably want me to.</span></div>stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08804749794097645656noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19034751.post-28099080900326846952009-08-08T17:11:00.003-07:002009-08-09T13:33:18.948-07:00one talented fanny<div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;">some of you may know that our family has a musical background. some of you may also know that we can be a little crude from time to time (not very often though. hahaha!). well, our little addie has decided to bridge the gap between the two.</span></div><br /><div align="center"><a href="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_0453-addieBum.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 650px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 445px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_0453-addieBum.jpg" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:180%;"> those are some cute buns!!!!</span><br /><div align="center"> </div><br /><br /><br /><br /></div>stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08804749794097645656noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19034751.post-45933881822957594662009-08-03T12:12:00.003-07:002009-08-03T12:35:01.892-07:00update!!!!<div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">i just wanted to update you all on </span><a href="http://tateryin.blogspot.com/2009/05/things-change.html"><span style="font-size:130%;">this post</span></a><span style="font-size:130%;">. since i didn't disclose details i will share a couple.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>*</strong>3 years ago this <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">november</span> we bought this house for over $300,000.00 </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>*</strong>today this house is worth $175,000.00</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;"><strong>NOT A GOOD THING!!!</strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>*</strong>we found out that our mortgage was going up to </span><span style="font-size:180%;"><strong>$8,000.00 a month</strong> </span></div><div align="center">(due to the kind of loan we got)</div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">raise your hand if you can afford to pay that...or if you can do you <strong>WAN</strong>T to pay that. <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">especially</span> when the house is worth <strong>HALF</strong> of what the purchase price was.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>*</strong>we asked the bank to work with us and they wouldn't so we chose to stop making payments and walk away from our home...(that was a horrible decision for us)</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>*</strong> 5 months of making no payments later they are begging us to let them work with us. they don't want another empty home. they have made a very <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">desirable</span> offer and we have decided to stay.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;"><strong>THE END!!!</strong></span></div><div align="center"><strong>OR </strong></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;"><strong>THE BEGINNING!!!</strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;"><strong>again</strong></span></div>stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08804749794097645656noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19034751.post-81676226002311464242009-07-21T18:30:00.002-07:002009-07-21T18:40:09.444-07:00just something...ANYTHING!!!<div align="center"> </div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;">me with my tiniest girl</span></div><a href="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_0367-.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 600px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_0367-.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;">i love this family!!!! it's just too bad that rich is so short. :)<br /></span></div><a href="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_0456-.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 550px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 825px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_0456-.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div></div>stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08804749794097645656noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19034751.post-62182116304354445462009-07-02T20:57:00.002-07:002009-07-02T21:02:02.688-07:00standing in line at wal-mart<div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="color:#cc0000;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">jenna</span>:</span> mom!!!!! look at that lady, she looks SO WEIRD!!!!!</span></div><div align="center"><a href="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/img_cover_large1.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 415px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 545px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/img_cover_large1.jpg" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:180%;"> <span style="color:#cc0000;">me:</span> that's because she's <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">michael</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">jackson</span> honey. :)</span></div><p align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">HAHAHAHAHA</span>! </span><span style="font-size:180%;">i was laughing so hard and so loud that everyone around was <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">staring</span>. </p><div align="center"><br /></div></span><div align="center"></div>stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08804749794097645656noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19034751.post-78631908543664632072009-06-23T09:56:00.002-07:002009-06-23T10:01:48.390-07:00look who's up and moving around<div align="center"><span style="font-family:courier new;font-size:180%;">this little stinker realized about 2 weeks ago that she could get to what she wants by moving around and she is taking full advantage of her new skills.</span></div><br /><a href="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_9990-.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 600px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 900px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_9990-.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div>stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08804749794097645656noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19034751.post-67566545689816668842009-06-20T11:07:00.002-07:002009-06-20T12:05:08.254-07:00<div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">it took me 4 hours of hard core pushing to get this boys 10 lb body out of me and into this world. it was so hard and even though he came out looking like this, (and i just KNEW his head would never get better) i was totally in love with every inch of his mangled self. from head to toe this boy screamed trauma. the process of getting him here was just as long and difficult for him as it was for me and it showed. it didn't take too long for him to snap out of it and ten years later he is more beautiful than ever.</span></div><br /><div align="center"><a href="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/Tristan-MangledtoHandsome.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 1024px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 693px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/Tristan-MangledtoHandsome.jpg" border="0" /></a> </div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">yesterday he woke up to the traditional <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">benintendi</span> streamers and balloons and presents waiting for him in the middle of the floor.</span><br /><a href="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_1260-.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 600px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 800px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_1260-.jpg" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">tristan</span> want just a few simple things and he got all of them. he wanted a good book so we got him the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">fablehaven</span> book that he didn't have yet. he asked for socks (which is a weird thing for a ten year old to ask for but OK) i got him 5 packs of gum because he is always stealing mine and a pack of white copy paper for the same reason. we ordered a harry potter wand online and were still waiting for that to come.</span><br /><div><a href="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_1265-.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 650px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 488px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_1265-.jpg" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:130%;"><br />he also wanted tech <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">dech</span> skateboards...he ALWAYS wants these over the last few years he has probably had around 50. he loves these things!</span><br /><div><a href="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_1270-.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 650px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 867px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_1270-.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">after he opened his presents he and i went to breakfast together just the 2 of us. it's nice to get that one on one time with him and i know that he likes it to because he asks for it all the time. he chose <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">mcdonalds</span> and since it was his day that's where we went. :)</span><br /><div><div><a href="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_1278-.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 600px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 450px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_1278-.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">a little later in the day we went to see "UP"! it was such a sweet movie and totally brought me to tears. i did sleep through about half of it but i saw the important parts. i think the kids really liked it.</span></div><div><span style="font-size:130%;"></span> </div><div><span style="font-size:130%;">after the movie we went to an early dinner at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">dennys</span>, another of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">trisants</span> b-day picks. :) it was free for him so that was a pretty good deal.</span><br /><div><a href="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_1281--1.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 650px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 867px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_1281--1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">while we were there we noticed that our baby girl cut a tooth. can't see it in this picture, actually she won't let us see it at all but we can for sure feel it.<br /></span><div><a href="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_1289-.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 650px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 975px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_1289-.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">after dinner some of our favorite people on the planet came over to sing happy birthday and have cake and ice cream.</span><br /><div><a href="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_1294-.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 600px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 450px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_1294-.jpg" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:130%;"><br />some of the kids played a little pin the tail on the donkey...doesn't <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">ben</span> look great in pink?<br /></span><div><a href="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_1303-.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 578px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 867px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_1303-.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">we sang....<br /></span><div><a href="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_1304-.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 600px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_1304-.jpg" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:130%;"><br />he blew out the candles...this mark the beginning of another wonderful year with an amazing son.</span><br /><div><a href="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_1306-.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 650px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 975px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_1306-.jpg" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:130%;">the boys went out after to play mini golf and play some video games. they were out late and seemed to have a great time. </span></div><div><span style="font-size:130%;"></span> </div><div><span style="font-size:130%;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">jeff</span> is at urgent care now getting x-rays on his hand, he was being a weirdo last night and hurt it and it's swollen. all you had to do is tell me you didn't want to do yard work <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">jeff</span>! this is kind of an expensive way to get out of work!</span></div><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></div><div> </div><div> </div><div><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">HAPPPY</span> BIRTHDAY TRISTAN!!!!</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><br /></div>stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08804749794097645656noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19034751.post-12860176507925961632009-06-14T15:32:00.002-07:002009-06-14T15:36:05.848-07:00all on a sunday afternoon<div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;">at least the underwear say huggable!</span></div><a href="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_1175-.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 650px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 488px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_1175-.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;">tristan thought it would be a great idea to customize an oreo.</span><br /><a href="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_1167-.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 650px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 433px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj27/stacybenintendi/IMG_1167-.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:180%;">sunday at the benintendis is always some kind of adventure.<br /></span></div>stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08804749794097645656noreply@blogger.com9