the truth of the matter

here's an old post from december that i never shared! hmmm! my my my how life has changed since then.

you can always count on me to tell you all of the things you never wanted to know. :)

this is me a couple of months ago (4 lbs lighter than now) i like this person. not just because she looks better and feels better but because of all of the hardships in life that have "refined" her and followed her to this place.

this is me in february of 2010. life had been hard and at times extremely unfair and out of my control. this woman ate because it was one of the only places that joy could be found.

when things became safe in my life i was able to address the fact that the thing that i thought was bringing me joy was actually making me fat and uncomfortable

i've learned that for me when life is hard i need to focus on the the things that i know have to be fixed for life to go on and neglect the rest. well trust me when i say that my weight wasn't even a problem compared to the termoil that i was in. life is not without it's trials today but i am happy to report that my 45 lb. weightloss is proof that my life was free of termoil and i was able to recocognize joy in many other places in my life. i have felt amazing and so in control of me. my life is a much happier place.