Tuesday, February 26, 2008

7 down 43 to go...

...pounds that is. let the hard work begin.


a week and a half ago i made the choice to feel better about my self in every way. i think #1 for me has to be to loose this hideous weight that holds me back from doing everything that i want to do...comfortably, anyway. i have always had issues with my body even when i was super skinny. i remember my mom telling me to "appreciate your body now cause once you have kids it'll never be this beautiful again". this couldn't have been more true. i didn't take her advice and i nit picked my body to death.


my father (who i love but he's a little shallow, ok a lot shallow) would always let me know when i looked like i might be 120 instead of 115 and he made it a point do the same to my friends. this still happens. now this isn't a dad bash but i'm just trying to point out where some of my messed up weight issues may have steamed from.


almost ten years ago i married an awesome guy who is a ton of fun and who eventually ended up weighing 400 lbs. i don't know you but sometimes i just want to keep up with the joneses and that, in a way is what i did. obviously i didn't make it to 400 lbs but it is way easier to be fat when you have someone to be fat with.


having said that i recognize that my weight gain is 100% MY FAULT and i take full responsibility. i'm even a little mad at myself for allowing other peoples actions and words to dictate my behavior.


i don't have a portion control problem. for the most part it is about the bad food choices. i have developed a love of foods that are just not good for human consumption. i've always eaten healthfully and was raised by a health nut and was exposed to best, most fresh, natural foods. i love these foods thanks to my mother. not everyone can say that they LOVE the healthy stuff, i can! thanks mom.


last thursday i started back on weight watchers and yesterday i started back at the gym. it feels really good to me to be doing something to make ME better. i have to make it work. i know i can make it work. i'm gonna feel good and i'm gonna look even better.


i have before pictures but i'm not going to share them until i have at least half of my weight off. it was a little shocking for me to "see" myself this way.


i started at (ahhhhhhh this is REALLY putting myself out there) 215 lbs and today (a week and a half later) i am at 208 lbs. my goal is to get to 160 which is a size 9/10 for me and where i was when i got married. i am however not opposed to getting to 150 which was my pre-tristan weight.


first things first though. i need to lose 10% of my body weight for my first goal. that will put me at about 190 which will get me out of the 200's. this is happy news. and i'll just work from there until i reach 160.


i know this was long and boring but it helps me so much to verbalize it this way and i could totally use the support. i'll post again once i've lost my 10%.


HAPPY DAY! :)


i know it's hard to tell in that big dress but this was me, skinny. :)

27 comments:

Sheridan said...

Good for you Stacy. Just make it be about love! I love you no matter what size you are! I think you are beautiful too!

But I support you in being more healthy! Heaven knows I could change my eating habits. And exercising too! Good for you!

Hugs!

Anonymous said...

congratulations stacy! it really is a happy day. one step at a time. i too think you are beautiful, but it's not about us, its about how you feel. we all love you and want you to feel good about yourself. YOU CAN DO THIS!
love ya girlie :)
-Erin

Ali said...

You go girl! Your words resonated through my soul! I am SO at that point right now too - my body has done it's job of getting most of my post baby weight off, but what is left is totally up to me to get rid of. Sooooooooooo, if you ever want to go walking, give me a ring! And remember, inch by inch (or pound by pound in this case) life's a cinch - yard by yard, life is hard. One step at a time sister!

Gardner Family said...

Okay Stacy, we need to get together on the W.W. thing. I did great for 3 weeks and then lost the momentum and gained all it back. It is great to have support and I'm sure you do in family and friends. I'm sorry about the "Dad" thing. I had the same with my 4 brothers. It hard to get past that sometimes. You are beautiful and have a wicked sense of humor and those will only be enhanced.

CrazyRyans said...

I feel you on the parent being the one who brings you down. My mother had me thinking my jr year in high school when I was starting setter on the varsity vball team and running 4 miles a day that maybe I should start drinking slim fast for breakfast and lunch. AT 118lbs! My dad who now lets me know well... out of all your sisters you are the least fat after kids. So i feel you and really the only person you can do it for id YOU! So go for it!!!! (Angie)

Anonymous said...

Thanks all for supporting the wife. One thing about stacy that some of you might not know is that she has 100% integrity. If she says she will do something, she will do it and she never... NEVER forgets anything. You gals are such a good support for her as she is working through this.

Many of you know I've over 150lbs now and am still working on it. I was totally supported by Stacy and I couldn't have made it this far without her. I know how much it means having people there for you and it's awesome you all are sharin the love. What a good support you gals are to her.

I just want to thank you all for being such good friends to stacy. She will work this out and I am sure a few months from now, we will be posting some pictures of her in that "Brazilian Bikini" that she has in the closet! Ha whatever. Thanks again girls.

Jeff (my wife is smokin hot)

Hallows said...

Stacy..you are brave girl. I don't know much about you..but what Jeff said is something I feel is so true about you. When you put your mind to it...you'll do it. I tend to believe that about you. YOU can do it. I am jealous of you that you have such a desire to feel better...and do something about it. I have the desire, but am lazy. Can't wait to hear about the journey.

Jody said...

Way to put yourself out there....I'm jealous. And good for you. I'm working on it too, and have become addicted to the gym (BTW, where are you going?) It's amazing how good excercise can make you feel. Sounds very naive, but it's been a while for me & I'm remembering how much I love it.

And what a sweetheart your hubby is....be very grateful for such a wonderful man.

Kara Jayne said...

Stacey you are awesome!! My sis has done WW before and it is an incredible program. Like the others have said it has to be about YOU because you know that all your friends love you no matter what the scale says. I'm so excited for you and hope your journey is a good one!

Shalene said...

i am so happy for you, but i still think you are beautiful just the way that you are. mike started doing weight watchers at the first of the year and has lost 30 lbs, but more importantly he has lost a lot of size. stick to your points...it works. i am doing it with him by default...i do the cooking, and i went for a walk yesterday for the first time since jordan. i am going to a mommy's group in my ward...but i really miss you guys. best of luck with your 10%!!

Scott & Natalie said...

We love you Stace!!! Keep it up! You're SO Beautiful ALL OVER, inside & out! Your family is SO Beautiful too! Yes, even you Jeff!

Brenna said...

I am happy to be your cheerleader! I totally agree with Sheridan here. Know that everyone loves you no matter what, but I know the feeling and I am behind you 100%. LOVE YOU TONS!

~Christine

Kenyon said...

That was a great post Staci. I am working toward a more healthy lifestyle right now as well, and it feels good. I KNOW you can do it.The book "Running with Angels" has been a huge help and motivation for me, I highly recommend it! The lady who wrote it lost 100 pounds, all on her own and actually now that I am thinking about it, she did Weight Watchers. I relate to you with what you were saying about your Dad, my Dad was a little different than yours, but HE was never happy w/ HIS body. He was always SUPER thin and still thought he looked chubby (very perfectionistic with himself, but not me). I find myself falling into that trap of nit-picking my body, and I am trying so hard to love and appreciate it, wich is helping me get off the last pounds :) You are so GREAT!

Shelly said...

Stac, I'm here for you all the time. I love you and I want you around for a long time. You're a beautiful woman inside and out. Kenyon is right. I read Running with Angels right before I ran the Running with angels 5K last year...It's a great book. I'll send you my copy if you think you've have time to read it. And I'll always be sorry about Dad. I'm embarrassed to even say anything...you know why.

I love you

Sharla said...

Even though I always think you are beautiful, I know how much it matters to feel that way yourself. i love that you love wheat brownies and karob. Can't wait to hear how good you feel as you make progress!

shawni said...

Good for you Stacy! I agree with everyone else, you are beautiful just how you are, but what a great goal and I'm sure you'll feel so great after you accomplish it. I'll be rooting for you! I so admire your determination!

Anonymous said...

duuuuuuude i can soooooo relate. i was laughing at this " its easier to be fat when you can be fat with someone" and that is so very true.

im proud of you stacy. i wish i had the strength to join you right now.

GO GO GO !
tara

Kristin said...

Stacy- YOu are amazing. I am so proud of you! Your 7 pound weightloss is awesome. I give you props for being so open about everything, I think it helps. Good luck on the rest of your weight, I know you can do it. You are beautiful now and you still will be when you hit your goal. I'm happy to help whenever you need it. I love WW and I love working out so...Call me anytime.

Sarah said...

Super skinny for sure and the LONGEST neck ever known to man. I am so happy for you, you are amazing and I have no doubt you will make it.

julie said...

I think you are gorgeous. seriously. That said, you will feel GREAT getting your body back in shape. Eating good food and taking care of your body just feels good. And the bonus will be how hot you look! Go Stacy, Go!

Dennison Family said...

Woohoo! Good for you, Stacy! You can do it! You will have a big fan club cheering you on! And, I agree, when Tyler decided to lose his weight it definately made it better for him to vocalize it! He said he felt more accountable! Good for you! At least you already like the healthy stuff! We had to teach Tyler to like it! :) You can do it!

Brynn said...

That is awesome! Congrats! You're motivating me. I hope you don't mind, but I added you to my link list.

Anonymous said...

Well, every thing has pretty much been said.

I have every confidence in you and love you very much...whether or not you loose the weight. I want you to be healthy and strong first for yourself and then for your family and I know you can do it!

Moth Hair

Anonymous said...

I can't wait to hear when you meet your 10%. You know you are gorgeous no matter what! Over the years I have heard so many times how unhappy you were with your weight since having those gorgeous kids of yours, and I know this time you will reach your goal. Miss you!
-Robyn

Nash said...

You can do it Stacy. I have been away from the gym now for 2 weeks after working really hard to lose 25lbs. I am disgusted at myself for digressing. Even as I sit here, I can't believe it's been so hard to get back. I thought for sure it would be today. It is just such a daily struggle.
You have so much support. look at all of your comments. Wish you lived closer I could use a friend to hit the gym with.
Good Luck.

amber joyful said...

ok thats super great and everything - but seriously lay off the laxitives. I really think there are much healthier ways to lose 7 pounds in a week. And whats up with getting strep throat ? i know your just trying to show off - look at me- i cant swallow bla bla bla boo hoo! Im just kind of sick of all the bragging you know. and i have to tell you i really think you crossed the line when you bore your testimony in church about how diet and exercise are as important to you as jesus. so just a reminder stacki benderoni - SERIOUSLY .... CHAPS ARE FOR COWBOYS ONLY, and just because we were at joes bbq the big hole still goes in the back EVEN IF you have lost 7 pounds. love, your mon - fri 7:30am-4:00pm friend. bff xoxo

Amelia . Lyon said...

Hahahah! I love this photo of you two!!! Great to see that we both have almost the same shot from our wedding! lol! Very funny!