Life

here's me and my family! i got up to 250 lbs. while i was pregnant with addie. i lost a little bit of weight and started to pack it back on due to...well, you read it in my last post. that's a chubby lady right there.

here i am just 5 lbs away from the final 45 lbs. that i lost before the BIG surprise! i still had 15 lbs. to go to get to my goal!

just a few thought before i continue...
it would be awesome if i had more of an interest in my blog. i know i really need to keep this thing up especially since addie has gotten the shaft in the "life recording department" and with baby ashton due to arrive in 3 weeks i really need to do better...they are so worth it and you know what, so am i. my brain isn't as sharp as it used to be and i forget important things all the time. i don't want to forget these exhausting and amazing days that are whizzing by.
so here is what happened after i lost 45 lbs. this is me at 17 weeks. at about 14 weeks the nausea subsided and i felt really great. not something that i had experienced with my two previous pregnancies. i was miserable from start to finish with those two little girls.

this is 25 weeks, just woke up from my sunday after church nap...not lookin too hot so just look at the belly. still feeling great though, i was even able to take the kids to the lake ALL BY MYSELF. that was so amazing for me considering how sick i had been with the last two. i was SO proud of myself and i felt like a real mom who can do stuff! :)

this is 28 weeks! not yet uncomfortable and so excited to finally be in my third trimester.
we found out at 19 weeks that we are having a baby boy. we are naming him ashton james. to say that we were excited to find out that he was a boy would be the understatement of the century. there really are no words to describe the explosion that went off in my chest when the announcement was made. another baby boy to squeeze and kiss. i can't wait to meet this special little boy.

33 weeks!!!!!! i wish i could still report that i feel great but the truth of the matter is i am miserable!!!! about 2 weeks before this picture i started feeling awful and started having anxiety attacks and i mean physically painful anxiety. i'd like to pinpoint exactly what triggered it in this pregnancy but there was so much all at once that it would be impossible to. i have at least 4 a day and they are debilitating. i'm not much of a mom these days and that in itself causes harm to me. it's summer and the kids are home and they need activity and they need ME! jeff no longer works from home so he's not here to be the buffer that i desperately need.

i'm 36 weeks now and being induced in 3 weeks. we all (even the kids) know that this difficult time is almost over and we are hanging in there. i also was diagnosed with gestational diabetes which i know contributes to some of the physical discomfort.
all in all friends this pregnancy has been AMAZING and even though i have suffered for the last month or so i really have been so blessed with the best attitude (mostly) toward the trials that i have been faced with. this boy is a gift to me, a gift like nothing i have ever received, he is special and was meant to be a benintendi.
i can't wait to share Ashton's story...super soon i promise! :)