Tuesday, June 17, 2008

things that make me excited to birth this baby and move on with life

i haven't had a camera for a couple of months (long story) so without pictures i feel like i have nothing to post about. while i was reading a friends blog yesterday i realized that i overlooked one of the funniest and most embarrassing things that has ever happened to me.

when i was pregnant with tristan and jenna the worst thing that would happen to me while i was grocery shopping is that my hands would start itching and burning like crazy from crazy blood flow issues. i would have to make a mad dash to the frozen food section for some peas and carrots to carry around the store with my hands up over my head...very attractive and totally confusing to other shoppers but it was the ONLY way i could get through my shopping.

fast forward to tatum when nothing made sense. i started to pass out randomly in stores and public places. so when this happened to me at wal-mart the employees came running, it was really an experience that they couldn't forget so when i came in and got a ride along cart no one batted an eye and everyone knew why i need it and just smiled at me as i went on my way.

well i have been having the same problem this time around too and have just been having to cut my shopping short when i feel "that feeling" coming on. this is so inconvenient!

a week or so ago i had a lot of shopping to do and i couldn't do it in shifts i just had to get it done. so i decided that i was going to take jenna and she would push a cart behind me while i sat in a ride along cart.

remember your own experience at wal-mart when you see someone in one of those things, they are usually at least 300 lbs. or 14 month pregnant...I'M FOUR MONTHS PREGNANT.

as we walk into the store i see a woman literally dragging her leg behind her and i assume that she is going to get an electric cart. i was WRONG! this woman could hardly walk and she was going to tough it out. i felt SO DUMB.

i asked the door lady for the last cart and she stared at me for a second and then grumbled all the way back to get me the cart and then stared at me and grumbled some more as i got situated on the cart and pulled away. i was honestly expecting her to flip me off.

people all through the store were staring at me and staring at me feet wondering why i was unable to walk. of course i had to call my friend amber to tell her of all of the hilarity and while i was talking to her about they lady who was dragging her leg she walked past me and smiled. surely this couldn't get any more humiliating right? WRONG!

so we're on our way to the check out stand and i see a man coming straight at me in a REAL WHEELCHAIR. all i could think is, don't look in his direction, don't do it, and why aren't there any lanes open on this side of the store for me to duck into?

the man pulled up right next to me and said, "ma'am what's wrong with your legs?" Awwww CRAP! SERIOUSLY?!?! REALLY?!?!?!! i just wanted to be able to finish my shopping for a change. so i told the other truth about why i was unable to walk through the store. "i have sciatica that is pregnancy induced." i felt super smart and like i may have satisfied his curiosity and i was ready to move on and then he said to me,

"I'M PARALYZED!!!!!!!!"
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY TO THAT?!?!?!?!?!?! all i could say was "i'm so sorry" and i totally gave him the pity look. i left felling like a total idiot. i feel like it might be best for my ego to go shopping at midnight with the rest of the freaks until i'm 14 months pregnant or 300 lbs. and for my sake lets pray that neither one of those happen. :)
sorry that was sooo long.

14 comments:

Shelly Hanson said...

LOL! Stac, The carts aren't just for Paralized or gimplegged people! You had every right to not pass out and they shouldn't have judged you for using the cart.

on the other hand

Good grief woman! What's Jeff doing? Maybe he can go shopping once in awhile. You might have to deal with his disire to purchace food you don't want him too but at least you wouldn't have to go when you're hurting.

Crazy lady.

P.S. will you ever be able to shop at Walmart again?????

Anonymous said...

Oh Stacy, this could only happen to you! I don't think you should feel bad in the least, people shouldn't go around judging by what they see. And although he was 'old' he had no right to even ask you...Not sure there is a right time to shop, but hopefully you won't experience that again. Sorry you are having issues, but keep in mind, in a few months you will be holding this beautiful bundle of sweet baby that made these moments so worth it!
Love, Erin

Kara Jayne said...

I'm seriously rolling on the floor!! Don't worry what other people think. They don't know you!!

shawni said...

that's so crazy that you get that. I'm so glad there are such things as electronic wheel chairs. I'm totally trying that out some time! But I better come up with a really good excuse first!

RobynandJoe said...

So funny! I passed out once during my last pregnancy and it totally FREAKED ME OUT! I should've used one of those carts!

Ali said...

OMG - SB, you are hilarious - now THAT is about the funniest thing I've ever heard! I've never passed out during pregnancy, but I had nerve issues w/ Isa's pregnancy too, and sometimes, randomly, my right leg just wouldn't work. And towards the end, I could barely walk - I remember being with my mom, dragging my feet through Wal-Mart and people looking at me like I was a super sized 8 legged freak! LOL Next time, stick a pillow under your shirt to make your stomach bigger, then pregnancy will be absolutely obvious. Maybe your creative DH could just make you a t-shirt that says, "don't ask - blame it on the fetus!" or something. Seriously though, I will totally run to the store for you if you are in need of something. Just call. Seriously.

Hallows said...

pretty hiliarious I have to say. You always have the funniest stories....wish I could of see that one. Glad your feeling well enough to get out...it's too bad it's got these rewards for you.

Sarah said...

This is story is just as funny the second time. Even though you told me about it last week reading it today still made me laugh and a little pee may have come out. JK! Hang in there!

ruth said...

You gotta love Wal Mart. My Sis in law, Christy swore by the carts.

5littlenordstroms said...

That really is a funny story and I feel bad that you were judged so harshly. If only they knew. Your idea to shop at walmart at midnight really is a good one. I shop there with the freaks all the time. Secretly it is my favorite time to shop. I don't have to bring the kids and the lines are shorter and it's perfectly okay to wear my sweats too.
Who knows maybe it will be a good time for you too. You will probably be the least freaky one there for sure.

Jessica said...

I can't believe someone made you 'splain yourself... As if a grown woman would take a cart for a ride, like for fun! People need to be more charitable :) And - I will gladly go to the store for you. No fainting necessary!

Sheridan said...

Oh honey! Just tell them you are pregnant and that should be enough. If not then flash them or something. JK

So sorry, one of the not so great things about being pregnant for you. But better to offend the dude and not pass out while checking out. That would freak everyone out!

Maybe make a sign explaining the situation, so they don't ask. "No I am not just lazy, I am pregnant and pass out if I walk more than 50 feet. Please do not make rude comments to me. I am pregnant and cry easily."

That should keep them quiet!

Anonymous said...

This is you Mother. It's best you don't fall down anymore. you know from experience that people will either walk around, or over you. Don't take the chance. Better to be looked at in a strange way.

Sharla said...

I totally did that too when i pregnant with Chloe about 8 months along and no one gave me a hard time. i can't believe how everyone seemed to be acting like you were joy riding. LOL!